Child management

For Rico, my youngest friend.

Raising a child must be difficult, but there are simple ways to be a child's friend.

Treat children as equal, but be an authority on right and wrong. Smile and laugh a lot. Be the same, uninhibited person you were when you were a child; chillax. But don't prance around like some over-excited tit if it feels contrived.

Children don't understand sarcasm so you shouldn't use it. But do be ironic, if only to entertain the other adults around you – this is used in films such as Bee Movie and The Incredibles.

Encourage them to eat fruit - nature's candy. The banana is a wonderful thing, which, as well as being tasty and nutritious, can be made to look like a phone; a bananaphone if you like.