Words or phrases you should know but probably maybe do not

Dedicated to my male friends, for which no topic is too taboo.

You bet! - When you see a girl who is fine mm mm tastalicious you can say this. A shortening of "you bet I would". Subtler alternatives include "Mathew Kelly!" the host of UK TV-show "You Bet!" from 1991-95, and, when in Germany, "wetten dass!" from the Fatherland's very own version which is still going strong "Wetten dass..?" and "Thomas Gottschalk!", its presenter.

Camel tail - like a cameltoe but for men.

Tribbing - two ladies scissoring each other.

Perineum - the bit between the arse and male or female sex-piece. Slang terms for male perineae include "barse" and "banus", apparently. I guess you could therefore have "varse" and "vanus" for women.

Split-arse - a woman. A bit vulgar this one, but the etymology of the phrase is if you imagine an arse being split in two, creating two arses, one of which evolves into a vagina. Oh dear.

Fingerbang/fingerpop - to finger a hole, normally sexual but I used it recently to describe putting my fingers down my throat to make myself vomit.

July shout-outs: stuff proposed by friends

Two from Squeaky Bill this month.

It is this that Squeaky has to say on pre-grated packets of Parmigiano-Reggiano. They are better than whole chunks of the stuff because they are grated to perfection and also save on gruelling manpower. Despite pre-grated being more expensive to buy per gram, Squeakalicious argues that it is actually cheaper - the whole block leads to spillage and big chunks flaking off during self-grating, and you are left with the inedible outer crust at the end.

The game of Boule is great fun, but a three-way game does not work so well as one-on-one or two-on-two games, much like in pool or snooker. But rather than have one person sit out an entire first-to-13 game, Squeaks suggests applying the winner-stays-on rule after each end yet at the same time keeping an accumulative score and playing first to 13. That way no one has to sit out for more than one end. Looking forward to trying that out soon.